Wednesday, March 02, 2005

The terrorist in your head (and a survey)

So you thought you were depressed, eh? Allow me to enlighten you. You are not depressed. Your brain is harbouring a terrorist! No wonder you're not feeling very good. Everybody knows that terrorists are bad for you.

But never fear. Help is at hand. All you need is a drill (to make a couple of holes in your head) and some spaghetti.

A procedure that involves drilling two holes into a person's skull and then implanting electrodes in the brain has shown promise in treating individuals who are severely depressed and resistant to other types of treatment.
Lozano drilled two small holes into each side of the skull in a two-hour procedure that took place under local anesthesia. He inserted two thin wires with electrode contacts, then tunneled the wires (about the diameter of uncooked spaghetti) underneath the skin behind the ear down to the chest.
"It's one spot of the brain that is really acting as a terrorist and subjugating very widespread areas of the brain and interfering with their function," Lozano said. "If one can seek out this area and tell it to behave in a more normal fashion, then the rest of the brain follows."
Unfortunately the article doesn't specify the actual spaghetti thickness. This could a problem. I mean, there's quite a difference between the 2-minute spaghetti and the 8-minute spaghetti I have in the cupboard downstairs. I'll have to pass for now. In any case, I don't seem to have a terrorist problem (although I do wish sometimes someone would tell my brain to behave in a more normal fashion).

(You thought I'd finished, didn't you? Well, I haven't.)

While I was hunting down that second link I got sidetracked for half an hour or so, as I'm sure you would too if you were as ghoulish as I am and had innocently typed trepan into google.


I found this. It is very interesting reading (IF YOU ARE NOT SQUEAMISH) and the photographs are frightening and bizarre (AND IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH THEY WILL MAKE YOU THROW UP) and the guy who had a hole drilled in his head said something that made me do a huge double-take:

Some mornings, I feel like I chugged a coffee even though I didn’t.

And then I wondered: Is it just me?

So I have decided to do a survey. This is the first survey I've ever conducted on my blog. I don't know how to set up one of those tricky little poll thingies, but there is only one question so it won't take much of your time to answer in comments. And I'd like to know what you think.

Here is the question:

What would you rather do?

a) Chug a cup of coffee, or
b) Drill a hole in your head?


birdwoman said...

Depends on the coffee, I suppose. I mean, if it's lye-laced...

then again, as the old saying goes, I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.


depressoboy said...

Chug the coffee. Even that god awful swill that starbucks serves up.

Dear God - Chug the coffee.

She Weevil said...

Well, on balance, I would generally go for the coffee but as an alternative to drinking a cup that my son had made, I'd go for the trepanning everytime.

Trepanning or a Sheweevil quiz?

Keith said...

Fresh ground?

The coffee, I mean, not the head.

Badaunt said...

Birdwoman: Lye-laced didn't occur to me. That changes things a little, doesn't it?

Depressoboy: You looked at the pictures, didn't you!

She Weevil: The quiz. The QUIZ! I've got them all except 7 and 21, now. I don't think I'll ever get those two.

Keith: Of course fresh ground! Anything else is not coffee. It's pretending.

Megan said...

Apparently I'm squeamish and didn't know it. GROSS!

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm, I think I'll have to go with the - coffee! Big wanking surprise there, eh?

librariangush said...

Hey, that was me on that last one!