Read and get fit

We had a rainy and blustery day today, and I spent most of the afternoon at the gym.

I have discovered another good thing about the gym. I can pedal a stationary bike and READ AT THE SAME TIME. You can't do that on the road! Well, you can, but the first time in my life I ever got pulled over by the police it was for reading a book on my bicycle, and I don't want to risk it again. I was seven years old, and it was a terrifying experience. I was so convinced I was going to be sent to prison that while the policeman was lecturing me I could hardly hear him. I stared at him, dumbstruck, while my mind conjured up a terrible future in which I was spending the rest of my childhood rotting away in a dungeon with bars over a tiny, high-up window and water dripping down the walls. I lived on bread and thin soup, and spent my time staring pitifully at my little square of unobtainable sky and feeling sorry that I'd ever read a book on my bicycle. I was a terrible criminal who had caused my family grief, shame and heartbreak. Also, I just knew that in prison there would be NO BOOKS ALLOWED. (What had I been reading, I wonder?)

So when I came out of this horrible dream to hear the policeman saying he'd let me off this time if I promised I'd never do it again, I promised, fervently, tearfully, and repeatedly. And I kept my promise. I've never done it again. (At least I hadn't until today, but I don't think a stationary bike counts.)

Besides keeping me entertained, the book also covers up the digital display that shows how fast my pulse is going (HEART ATTACK!) and tells me that I've been pedalling for 20 minutes now and only used up 40 calories and if I don't stop right now I'll keel over BEEP BEEP BEEP RED ALERT! I'd rather not know that stuff anyway. I'd rather read.