Breakfast

As I passed the little river on my way to work on Monday, I noticed that the heron had a feather out of place.

I told him so.

"Did you know you have a feather out of place?" I asked.


"SHUT UP!" shouted the heron. "YOU'RE SCARING THE FISH!"


"I didn't yell," I said, indignantly. "You did!"

"You started it, stupid," said the heron. "Even an idiot knows that breakfast messes up your feathers. What would be the point of tidying up beforehand?"

"That's like saying there's no point in brushing my hair in the morning because a normal day will just mess it up," I argued.

"Seems to work for you!" said the heron.

I got really upset.

"I BEG YOUR PARDON!" I shouted. "AT LEAST MY HEAD DOESN'T EXPLODE!"

"NOBODY WOULD NOTICE IF IT DID!" yelled the heron.

He stomped off.


Suddenly I felt ashamed. What was I doing, arguing with a bird? What was wrong with me? And why was I losing?

"There was a fish RIGHT THERE, and I MISSED it because of you," grumbled the heron. "That was my breakfast!"

I made an effort to patch things up.

"I think it went over by that rock," I called.

"Oh, rubbish!" said the heron. "What do you know?" He paused. "Round here, you say? I can't see anything."


"I'm sure I saw something move," I said.

The heron was doubtful. "What would you know about fishing?" he asked.

"Not much," I admitted. "I'm just trying to help."

"Well, I don't need your - OOH!"


"What?" I asked.


"GOTCHA!"


"What is it?" I asked.


"Er ... none of your business," said the heron.

"Well, aren't you even going to thank me?" I asked.

"What for?" said the heron, ungratefully. "You scared it off in the first place."


I got upset again. I just couldn't help myself.

"I HOPE IT'S REVOLTING!" I shouted after him.



Things never turn out well when bad hair days collide.