Duck Olympics

Today I happened to pass the river as the Duck Olympics were starting. I didn't have much time, unfortunately, but managed to catch the synchronised swimming championship.

It was a disaster. First, one duck started before her partner was ready.



And then, when they got their act together, the judges were looking the other way. They were gossiping and had forgotten what they were there for.



"Bugger!" said one of the ducks. "I did a perfect headstand, too! Did you see that?"

"Of course not, stupid," her partner said. "My head was underwater."

"I'll show you!" she said, and did it again.



But her partner wasn't looking, and the judges were still gossiping. (I overheard something about an illegitimate duckling.) It was a terrible waste of a great headstand.

Next was the big duck race. The audience shuffled, eagerly anticipating a tight finish. Some were so excited they had to sit down.



The ducks set off in great form.



Coming up to the second rock the umpire (dressed in orange) was waiting, and had to tell one of the racers to go to the RIGHT of the rock, not the left.



After this they were supposed to round the rock and head back to the first rock, where the winner would be declared. Unfortunately, shortly after the above photograph was taken the competitors forgot what they were doing, and started wondering when dinner would be ready. The umpire waited and waited...



...but only one racer came back. He was declared the winner by default, but was subsequently disqualified for returning via the wrong side of the rock.

The audience went home.



And I went to work.