Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Unsuitable friends

Down at the little river the water was a mucky colour. There was dredging or something happening a bit upstream. I was disappointed, but the birds didn't seem to think anything of it.

A duck was having a nap.


A cormorant was messing around in the murky water.


Suddenly the cormorant spotted the duck. It popped out of the water and flapped over to the rock.



"HEY, DUCK!" it shouted.




It all happened rather suddenly. The duck woke up with its head under water and its bum in the air.


"For goodness' sakes, WHAT?!" said the duck. "You have no manners at all!"


"Manners?" asked the cormorant. "Who cares about manners? I had a BABY! Did you know I had a BABY?"

"So what?" said the duck as it paddled off. "Who cares?"

"I care!" said the cormorant. "My baby is the most beautiful baby in the entire universe! And the most intelligent!"

"Oh, nonsense," said the duck. "No baby is more beautiful or intelligent than a duckling. Everybody knows that."


"But my baby is beautiful and intelligent and TOUGH!" said the cormorant. "He's a killer! He's going to grow up just like me. NOBODY STANDS ON MY ROCKS!"

I heard a call from down the river.

"Daddy?"

"What?" asked the cormorant.

"Look! My new friends let me share their rock! And later we're going flying together!"


"Eh?" said his father.


"THEY'RE TURTLES, IDIOT! THEY CAN'T FLY! AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FISHING, NOT MAKING UNSUITABLE FRIENDS!"


"How embarrassing," he muttered, and took off.

The duck came back to the rock almost immediately.


"Someone ought to teach that bird some manners. Parenthood has made him worse."

I cycled on to work, past the little cormorant.


"Oh, right. No wings," I heard him saying. "I wonder what happened to them? And what did Daddy mean, 'unsuitable'?"

The turtles mumbled something inaudible.


"Never mind," said the little cormorant. "I don't care what he says. I'll be your friend."

9 comments:

Radioactive Jam said...

And the turtles will finish delivering *their* terse commentary - when? Sometime tomorrow?

Badaunt said...

Turtles are really difficult to hear, I discovered. They mumble a couple of words and then they pause for hours, thinking.

I'll check today. Maybe they will have finished a sentence.

Writer Mom said...

You genius.
Here's a picture for you. My recent trip to the zoo.
What is it with birds and turtles?? A whole other society.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/life_in_the_pumpkin_shell/161978647/in/photostream/

StyleyGeek said...

I love it. That story just made my day.

Lippy said...

You and your picture stories are just hilarious. You'd be the hands-down winner in any photo caption competition!

Fuzzball said...

This might be my new favorite, BadAunt. Although the heron-head-expoding is tough to beat...

I'm going to have to think about this.

bart said...

you are so amazing, i've missed you in the turbulance of modern-day life... (no, not an excuse but sincerely so)..

keep well...

Mike said...

I finally got a chance to read more of your blog. I love this post, but others are interesting too. You are definately a brave woman to take a position teaching in Japan!

You now have a permanent place in my blogroll. keep up the good work.

Roy said...

Turtles really are, for the most part, inaudible, although for a time I thought they were inscrutable. They really are forthcoming, albeit slowly.