Sunday, July 03, 2005


When I started this blog, it was to keep in touch with people when I was travelling. Then I came back from my vacation and kept going because it was fun. I deleted most of the old posts, which I didn't want up there anymore, and just carried on. The blog gradually transformed into something different; it became a place for me to record the funny little incidents and quirky things about life as an expat in Japan.

Yesterday I found it hard to come up with funny little incidents and quirky things. I spent the afternoon at the memorial for a dear friend who died suddenly a few days ago, far too young, of a heart attack. I was not going to write about it here.

But she was one of my regular readers, and while she never commented here on the blog she often commented in email or in person, and I don't think she would mind if I told my other readers why I missed a day, and why I am sad.

My friend provided inspiration for blog entries occasionally, most memorably when she described the experience of eating fugu balls. Her description was a conversation-stopper, but she hadn't quite realised why. When she talked to me later about what I had written she laughed and laughed.

I can hear her laughing now. She had a wonderful laugh.

The last time I talked to her was on Monday, when she wanted to organize a time to meet and go to visit our friend in hospital, who is recovering from an operation. This was typical of her. She was an enormously loving - and lovable - person. No matter how busy she was she always had time for a friend in need.

But her time ran out, far too soon.

I sat in the train on my way to the service yesterday and stared out the window at the rain, and over the grey suburban sprawl at the wisps of cloud that were wrapping themselves around the hills and drifting into the valleys. I thought of my friend, and tried to get my head around the fact that she will not be there next week for our usual meeting, or ever again.

It is raining again today.

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Anonymous said...

I'm sending you virtual hugs and comfort. I'm so sorry for your loss. Life is so unfair. She sounds like a wonderful person.


Hooch said...

I'm also very sorry that you lost such a wonderful friend. I don't know what can make you feel better... maybe just time and the happy memories you have of her.

Kim said...

((((Badaunt)))) I'm so sad for you.

Andy N. said...


The Village Idiot said...


I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend, and as I'm puttering around the ranch for the next few days I'll think of your friend's laugh, and think of her wondering where the fish keep their fugu, and I'll smile and miss this person I never met. Keep up your beautiful writing, for you've shared the magic of your friend all around the world, and that's got to be a good thing.

Badaunt said...

Thanks to everyone for the kind words. It is hard to lose a good friend, and the support is a comfort.

Mama Mouse said...

Sadly rain comes into all of our lives at some point. Tears rain down upon our hands as each one reminds us of another thing we will miss. I'm so sorry for your tears ... but try to remember that you have precious memories and while you have them your friend will always be there ... all you have to do is reach inside and remember.

Ms Vile File said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your dear friend.

I'm going to make a list of rather neglected friends to phone this week. It's too easy to assume they'll always be there.

Megan said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. The only thing I can think to say is to remind you to think of her often; it is through our loving thoughts that the people who have passed are able to warm us with their love. She sounds like a beautiful person.

Lippy said...

That's very sad to hear about the sudden loss of your friend. I hope the days ahead will become less painful for you as your grief eases. Much warmth and comfort to you Ms B.

Robert said...

I ran across this entry late, I'm afraid, but I hope you're doing well. My condolences. There's never anything useful to be said after such a loss. I'm sorry.

doris said...

Very sad. Our lives tip upside down but it is better to have known and lost than to have not known. At least you can think of your friend and carry beautiful memories of her forever.

Death reminds us of how fragile our lives are. Best to make the most of our every moment :-)

Virtual hugs x x x