Happy

Spammers, take note!

MOSCOW — The director of an English language center and one of the country’s most notorious spammers was found beaten to death in his apartment in central Moscow, police said Monday.

The story later goes on to say that someone (I'm not quite sure how official he is) asserted that it was unlikely that he was beaten to death by an angry email user.

I don't know why he thinks it is unlikely. Spam makes a lot of people pretty damned angry.

Spam doesn't make me angry, though. I use death2spam and these days get almost no spam. (And no, I wasn't paid to tell you that.) I am sent a lot of spam I never see. Look at the statistics over the two years I've been using it:



Most of the misclassified mail is from the first few weeks, when I was training the filters. These days I get maybe one spam message a week, if that, coming into my mailbox, and I don't even remember the last misclassified good message.

Oh yes, I'm a happy customer, all right. I never get the urge to kill spammers, because I forget they exist. HA HA HA!

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But not getting spam is not the only reason I am happy. I'm also happy because I am giving myself a great big present I promised myself two summers ago, and failed to achieve (because I hadn't finished my dissertation after all), and then promised myself again last year, and failed again (because of something else), and this year IT IS WORKING OUT! IT IS HAPPENING! I AM GETTING MY GREAT BIG PRESENT TO MYSELF!

I will tell you what it is the day after tomorrow, or possibly the day after that, depending on ... er ... things. It's all a bit messy, and anyway I don't quite believe it yet. What if it turns out I am dreaming, and in the real world the coriander didn't go missing and my Great Big Present never worked out? I mean, really, how likely is it that coriander could just go missing like that and never reappear, in the real world? The chances that I am dreaming are really quite high, if you think about it. It would be terribly disappointing if I blared the news of the Great Big Present To Myself to the world and then had to admit it was just a dream. I don't want to do that to you. Or to me, actually.

So just in case I am dreaming, I'll wait a couple more days to be absolutely sure.

Stand by.


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