Not grateful

I thought I'd escaped this time, but I didn't. I've caught a cold, finally. A mid-semester cold, just what I need to complement the mid-semester blues. It's not fair.

To make matters worse I collected about 150 homework assignments on Thursday and Friday, and was supposed to mark them this weekend. I won't, of course. In a few minutes I'm going to bed to wallow in misery and angst, and I will stay there until Monday morning. No point in wasting my energy trying to be cheerful and productive when it won't work anyway. Wallowing is the way to go, I've decided, and I intend to wallow properly, and put everything into it. I will moan and complain and grizzle and feel sorry for myself and be generally pathetic. If I'm going to be miserable anyway I might as well be really miserable, and use up my misery quotient for the rest of semester all at once.

I may throw in a little paranoia as well, just to vary things. I signed something on Wednesday at one of my universities that I couldn't be arsed reading first, and now I can't find it. What was it? WHAT KIND OF IDIOT SIGNS SOMETHING WITHOUT READING IT FIRST?

Oh, and at another university, on Tuesday, we were officially informed that we were not going to have our pay cut. We were supposed to be grateful, I think. As it is my lowest paying job, and in the eight or nine years I've been there I have never received a pay increase, I refuse to feel grateful. I think I will devote some of my wallowing time to not feeling grateful, too.

My plan seems to be on track. I am now completely miserable. My head hurts, my throat is on fire, my sinuses are aching, I am anxious about that thing I signed, and I am NOT GRATEFUL.

I am going to bed.


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