I grow cysts

Recently I discovered I have a ganglion cyst on my wrist. I don't know how long it has been there because it isn't very big, doesn't hurt, and is only visible if I bend my wrist. It could have been there for months, but I just noticed it.

According to Wikipedia, this is also known as a bible bump, because a common method of treatment used to be to thump it with a bible. Like most things associated with bible bashing, however, this could make matters worse, so is not recommended.

That's a relief. I have been thumped with a bible quite enough for one lifetime.

Wikipedia also says that these cysts are thought to be caused by overuse of the joint, but that doesn't make sense, because it is my left wrist, not my right one, and I am right-handed. I wonder if they can also be caused by underuse?

Apparently my doctor was right when I went to him with a lump in my boob. He told me, sounding somewhat exasperated,

"It probably just a cyst. You're just like my wife! Cysts everywhere!"

He turned out to be right about it being just a cyst (several, actually) and now it turns out that he was also right about my being an expert at growing cysts, just like his wife. It looks like I have finally found something I am good at.

(Anybody want one? I have a few to spare and they're all harmless, I promise.)

It occurs to me that if this carries on I could, one day, turn into one of those people you avert your eyes from when you see them coming because they are so grotesquely deformed by weird growths. So far none of my cysts are particularly visible (except the wrist one, when I hold my wrist at a certain angle) but you never know. I could end up with a new career in a circus sideshow as a two-headed woman.

Not much of a career change, really. I already quite frequently feel like a sideshow freak in the classroom.

It might even be more restful.