Friday, September 24, 2004

The day Grandma laughed

TorryGirl's hilarious Woot! post (you need to scroll down to September 24th) made me laugh. It also reminded me of the first time I ever saw my grandma laugh.

I was always in awe of Grandma, who, I just realised, really was old when I was young. I was the late child of a late child, and Grandma was 70 years older than me. She was a very quiet woman with a stern face. I loved her dearly, but she almost never smiled, was very strict about proper behaviour, and was also severely religious. A word of praise from Grandma was worth a lot to me because it rarely happened, and while I adored Grandpa (the cuddly old thing) Grandma was something else. She was mysteriously special and different, and a bit scary. I wanted very much to please her.

Long ago, when I was a little girl, I was staying at my grandparents' place and I had a bath. In the bathroom I found a new addition since the last time I'd used their bath. It was a rubber mat with lots of little suckers on one side, hanging over the edge of the bath. I asked Grandma what it was, and she told me it was to place at the bottom of the bath so you didn't slip and hurt yourself. She told me I should use it.

I examined the mat carefully and decided that the little suckers should face up, since that way they would surely stick nicely and stop me from slipping. I placed the mat in the bath and sat on the suckers. They felt funny.

When I had finished my bath I emptied it while I was still in it, as I usually did, then climbed out carefully just before the last water swirled down the plughole. When I stood up, ready to make a run for it if I heard the Plughole Monster coming, the mat stuck to my bottom.

I thought this was pretty interesting. It just hung there, clinging to me suckily. I wondered if Grandma would think it was interesting, too. I wasn't sure. You could never tell with Grandma. She might just tell me off for being rude - she was a terrible stickler for manners - but I thought this was interesting enough to justify the risk. I walked carefully out of the bathroom and through to the living room, dripping wet and naked except for the rubber mat.

"Grandma?" I said, tentatively. "Look what happened! It stuck to me!"

Grandma looked up and got a strange expression on her face. I turned around so she could see the mat better. Then I farted loudly, and the mat fell off.

It was an astonishing moment. I'll never forget it. I had never seen Grandma laugh before. There I was, horrified because I'd farted in front of her, and she shocked me by laughing so hard she couldn't speak for several minutes. She put her head in her hands and laughed until she cried. And when she finally lifted her head and looked at my surprised face and started laughing again she was all gum, and her teeth were in her hands.

11 comments:

tinyhands said...

Great story about a fart. If you haven't read this, I hope you'll enjoy it (although it's not mine)-
http://torrez.org/archives/000251.php

Badaunt said...

That was very funny. Thank you. Now I'm worried. I have a question to ask The Man and I just know he's going to laugh at me.

colleen said...

That is the funniest story I've heard in a long time. I can just see it and not only is it funny, it's touching because it illustrates the innocence of children so well.

Laura said...

I'm here at Kenju's suggestion and she was right, I did get a good laugh out of this one!

Claude said...

Still giggling! I just loved the punchline. :)
Kenju sent me and I'm glad I dropped by!

rosemary said...

kenju sent me...great, great story about us...grandmothers

Carolyn said...

Came over from Judy's...

I am dying laughing here ;-D

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

What a delightfully dear story! To have gotten such a fabulous response from your Grandma...And unexpected....WONDERFUL! Kenju sent me today, too!

Bob-kat said...

LOL! It was an easy mistake to make and I suppose it did stick and you didn't slip!

Kenju sent me too :)

Beverly said...

Funny, funny story. I'm here from Judy too.

millie garfield said...

What a very funny story!!! I can understand how grandma couldn't resist laughing!!

If I were there I would laugh too, especially when grandma's teeth came out!!

Judy sent me.