Saturday, February 24, 2007


Quite a long time ago I clicked on the 'bulk mail' folder in my Yahoo mail, and discovered that I'd been getting a whole series of spam mails with really interesting headers. I saved these headers (and didn't bother reading the actual spam, so I don't know what it was for), with the idea that at some point I would do a series of blog posts using them as titles. Then I lost interest.

I just found the file again, and here they are, for your amusement.

Hi, nailhead spot
Hi, neatfooted
Hi, Mississippi catfish
Hi, opal matrix
Your health, nimble-toothed
Hi, oath purgatory
Your health, parrot disease
Your money, palm weevil
Your future, old-gathered
Your cash, mid-Victorianism

(I am fairly sure they were not aimed at me personally. I am not, and never have been, a parrot disease. Nor am I nimble-toothed)

Looking at these reminded me of a program I used to have on my old Mac, which ran OS 9. I wondered if there was a version for OSX, did a search, and there is! Naturally, I downloaded it. (I noticed there is a version for Windows now, too.)

The interface of JanusNode has changed a little, and I still haven't quite figured it all out, but I have discovered I can now generate insults. I asked it to generate a couple of insults I could aim in the general direction of spammers, and it did, rather eloquently, I thought.

You are nothing more than a poor sad dittohead, you psychotic abomination! May a stranger's god make you ooze neurotic brain tissue, you odious turkey!

(RadioactiveJam might find this function useful.)


Nils said...

Heh, nice one (:
And thank you for making me spend way more time with this than I should... I'm fascinated by the "Alliterate" function ^.^"

kenju said...

Hey, I've know a few psychotic

tinyhands said...

Sparky Donatello, over at his blog Crack Skull Bob, is quite the accomplished sketcher. He regularly makes sketches of what he imagines those interesting spam headlines look like.

Radioactive Jam said...

Mere words cannot express my gratitude. However until Mr. Brain Hunt sends me my UK lottery winnings, mere words will have to suffice.

Also I notice you didn't deny being a Mississippi catfish.

Badaunt said...

Nils: Fun, isn't it? And what's a few lost hours between friends?

Kenju: Haven't we all?

Tinyhands: And there go ANOTHER few hours. Thanks very much!

(He's good.)

RaJ: Choose your mere words carefully. (Or else steal them from JanusNode. JanusNode doesn't mind, and neither do I.)

Badaunt said...

And ALSO, RaJ: About the Mississippi catfish thing?