Nimble-toothed

Quite a long time ago I clicked on the 'bulk mail' folder in my Yahoo mail, and discovered that I'd been getting a whole series of spam mails with really interesting headers. I saved these headers (and didn't bother reading the actual spam, so I don't know what it was for), with the idea that at some point I would do a series of blog posts using them as titles. Then I lost interest.

I just found the file again, and here they are, for your amusement.

Hi, nailhead spot
Hi, neatfooted
Hi, Mississippi catfish
Hi, opal matrix
Your health, nimble-toothed
Hi, oath purgatory
Your health, parrot disease
Your money, palm weevil
Your future, old-gathered
Your cash, mid-Victorianism

(I am fairly sure they were not aimed at me personally. I am not, and never have been, a parrot disease. Nor am I nimble-toothed)

Looking at these reminded me of a program I used to have on my old Mac, which ran OS 9. I wondered if there was a version for OSX, did a search, and there is! Naturally, I downloaded it. (I noticed there is a version for Windows now, too.)

The interface of JanusNode has changed a little, and I still haven't quite figured it all out, but I have discovered I can now generate insults. I asked it to generate a couple of insults I could aim in the general direction of spammers, and it did, rather eloquently, I thought.

You are nothing more than a poor sad dittohead, you psychotic abomination! May a stranger's god make you ooze neurotic brain tissue, you odious turkey!

(RadioactiveJam might find this function useful.)