Faithless from now on

I just deleted a 50,000 word comment. (Can 50,000 words be called a 'comment'?) Blogger had to send it to me in two emails instead of one. It was an amazingly incomprehensible diatribe from a person who did not know how to punctuate or spell, and who evidently has far too much time on his (or her) hands.

My definition of 'normal' is fairly elastic, but it only stretches so far. That 'comment' had already reached my limit about twenty or thirty words in, at which point Anonymous had already mentioned god, homosexuality! reincarnation and circumcision. Skimming further down I noticed the abject situation, damnation, pro football, Noahs flood, hypersexuality, numerous references to the Final Prophet, and - the only bit I stopped briefly for - preditory Italians in clone hosts.

Preditory Italians in clone hosts?

That will teach me to use Faith as a blog entry title!

How?

I just received a spam email. I did not open it. I sent it straight to the wonderful Death2Spam for reclassifying. That way I will not get it again.

It had an interesting subject line, though:

incinerated bubble bath

How do you incinerate a bubble bath?

Nimble-toothed

Quite a long time ago I clicked on the 'bulk mail' folder in my Yahoo mail, and discovered that I'd been getting a whole series of spam mails with really interesting headers. I saved these headers (and didn't bother reading the actual spam, so I don't know what it was for), with the idea that at some point I would do a series of blog posts using them as titles. Then I lost interest.

I just found the file again, and here they are, for your amusement.

Hi, nailhead spot
Hi, neatfooted
Hi, Mississippi catfish
Hi, opal matrix
Your health, nimble-toothed
Hi, oath purgatory
Your health, parrot disease
Your money, palm weevil
Your future, old-gathered
Your cash, mid-Victorianism

(I am fairly sure they were not aimed at me personally. I am not, and never have been, a parrot disease. Nor am I nimble-toothed)

Looking at these reminded me of a program I used to have on my old Mac, which ran OS 9. I wondered if there was a version for OSX, did a search, and there is! Naturally, I downloaded it. (I noticed there is a version for Windows now, too.)

The interface of JanusNode has changed a little, and I still haven't quite figured it all out, but I have discovered I can now generate insults. I asked it to generate a couple of insults I could aim in the general direction of spammers, and it did, rather eloquently, I thought.

You are nothing more than a poor sad dittohead, you psychotic abomination! May a stranger's god make you ooze neurotic brain tissue, you odious turkey!

(RadioactiveJam might find this function useful.)