A theory

Tonight I could not avoid it. I had to have a bath, and wash my hair. The gas water heater will be replaced tomorrow, but I had to wash my hair tonight. It has been too long, and I have another first day of classes tomorrow. It would not do to turn up with dirty hair. New teachers should have clean hair.

I decided to use the bath and the bucket to wash my hair, and then risk the hot water heater to rinse it out. I heated up the bath. I washed my hair. Then I turned on the shower. The water ran warm. I rinsed my hair. It worked!

And then . . . it didn't work!

Oh, well. At least my hair is clean.

I have a theory about these gas heaters. My theory is a conspiracy theory.

Aside: I work with a guy who makes up much better conspiracy theories than I do. (He actually believes his conspiracy theories, which is another difference, although sometimes it's difficult to figure out what they are.) He tells you something like, for example, "Did you know that the Queen of England gave the Japanese Emperor the Order of the Garter in 1929 AND 1971?" He pauses for effect, then adds, meaningfully, "Think about it!" Then he walks away, leaving you to think about it. This can disconcerting, to say the least. You end up thinking meaningfully about things you never thought you'd give head space to, and you're not quite sure what it actually is you're thinking about.

Anyway! (As you may have guessed that one still has me thinking meaningfully.)

My theory is that gas heaters are made to last forever, but with one little flaw. The little flaw is an electrical connection in the control box. That is made to last ten years, more or less. After ten years the connection stops working properly, and the gas heater doesn't work anymore. At that point the afflicted and possibly shivering owner calls the gas company.

"Our hot water heater is broken!" they say, "We don't have any hot water!"

The gas company sends someone around to check.

When they see the water heater they snigger to themselves, but keep a straight face.

"It's old," they inform the owner. "You need a new one. These last ten years."

The owner is annoyed but also is finding life rather difficult without hot water, so pays out the exorbitant amount required to buy a new hot water heater (which will also only last ten years).

When the new water heater is installed the old one is removed. The old one is taken back to the company, where the faulty electrical connection is fixed and replaced with another electrical connection that will last ten years. It is a simple procedure.

The old hot water heater is given a new 'face' (maybe a new control panel, to make it look new) and sold on as a 'new' hot water heater, at a 'new' exorbitant price, to the next person who calls after getting a surprise in the shower.

And that's my theory about hot water heaters.