Saturday, April 19, 2008


One of my colleagues has what I think must be a really odd marriage, or at least not one I can get my head around at all. She has been married for several years and has two children, but one time she told me that she had never farted in front of her husband.

I cannot imagine this, especially because they live in a fairly small apartment. What does she do? Hold it in? Go to the toilet to fart? Does she flush the toilet afterwards in case he suspects his perfect wife has done something disgusting like expelling gas from her bottom?

I told her that holding it in was bad for her, but since she was not suffering any ill effects that meant she was probably farting in her sleep all night, like a machine gun.

I probably shouldn't have said that. She was deeply upset by the idea. I think it gave her a few sleepless nights.

There are no problems with farts around here. Every time The Man farts I bless him. This is probably a bad idea, because it has become a habit, and one day a student will fart and get entirely the wrong idea about when it is appropriate to say, "Bless you."


kenju said...

If mr. kenju and I had to say that every time that happens around here - we would get very little else said!

Carrie said...

That's just weird. I went to college with a girl who claimed that she never farted. If she had to fart, she would go sit on the toilet and then they wouldn't be farts. I don't know what they were supposed to be. I would probably die from an exploded belly if I couldn't fart in front of Mike.

shammi said...

Question is - what does The MAN say when it's you? :)

Hebron said...

"Like a machinegun"

Brilliant! I applaud you, dear lady. The mental image of being woken up by machinegun fire, only to get gassed by 'chemical weapons' will stay with me and provide much entertainment forever.

But seriously, expel the gaseous demon from within you!

Heh. They said "bless you" so you wouldn't be taken by the devil. Interesting how he's decided to try below the belt now ;D

Hehehe. Fart jokes.

Badaunt said...

Shammi: I am a well-blessed woman.

(Thought I'd answered this earlier, but apparently not.)