Fart

One of my colleagues has what I think must be a really odd marriage, or at least not one I can get my head around at all. She has been married for several years and has two children, but one time she told me that she had never farted in front of her husband.

I cannot imagine this, especially because they live in a fairly small apartment. What does she do? Hold it in? Go to the toilet to fart? Does she flush the toilet afterwards in case he suspects his perfect wife has done something disgusting like expelling gas from her bottom?

I told her that holding it in was bad for her, but since she was not suffering any ill effects that meant she was probably farting in her sleep all night, like a machine gun.

I probably shouldn't have said that. She was deeply upset by the idea. I think it gave her a few sleepless nights.

There are no problems with farts around here. Every time The Man farts I bless him. This is probably a bad idea, because it has become a habit, and one day a student will fart and get entirely the wrong idea about when it is appropriate to say, "Bless you."