Olympic blogging

I don't know if I can manage Olympic blogging. I'm already two days behind.

I made a huge effort to stay awake long enough to see the opening ceremony. Why did they schedule it for four in the morning? How absurd.

I ended up seeing only a little before I gave up and went to bed, so it was mostly wasted effort. My eyes kept closing. All I can remember is a bunch of skaters with their hair on fire going as fast as they could to escape the flames. Poor things. Why didn't anybody help them?

Maybe they had bacon fat in their hair. I discovered last night as I was cooking dinner that bacon fat is extremely volatile. It makes lovely big flames that are capable of shooting quite far up the kitchen wall. Don't tell The Man, though. He will worry, and there is no need. The wall behind the grill is tiled, for just such emergencies. All you have to do is turn off the grill and wait for the fire to burn itself out. That's what I did, and I also muttered, "Oh dear, oh dear, that's no good," while I was waiting. I have become very good at suppressing the occasional urge to shout obscenities. It is a side effect of working in a language classroom, where students who refuse to learn the most basic English will pick up rude language at lightening speed EVEN IF YOU ONLY WHISPER IT, and will repeat it back at you at every opportunity.

The Man told me that the flaming hair in the Olympic ceremony signified passion, according to the commentary. All I can say is that if my hair was on fire I expect I'd feel pretty passionate, too, just like I did when my bacon erupted.

Also, at some point during the opening ceremony when I had my eyes open, I saw a pulsating red heart. From certain camera angles it looked like a bunch of red maggots crawling over a Valentine card. It was an astonishing effect. I wonder what it was all about? I couldn't stay awake long enough to find out.

I am looking forward to an excess of television watching over the next few weeks. I hope the scheduling becomes a little more civilized.

The New Zealand news site, Stuff, has a rather interesting poll up on their sports page. The question is:

Will you watch any of the Winter Olympics?

There are four answers you can choose from:

Yes - for the sport
Yes - for the crashes
Only if NZ does well
No

So far, 11% are watching it for the crashes. How ghoulish of them. I am watching it for The Man's running commentary on the Japanese athletes. Last night (early this morning, rather), for example, I learned that one delicate little flower of Japanese womanhood, a top athlete, has secondary fame here as a husband-basher. This sort of information makes the whole effort of staying awake worthwhile. (Well, the occasional crash helps, too.)

The Man manages to stay awake all night far better than I do. He is superhuman. However, yesterday afternoon I noticed he was reading a book with his eyes closed. I think he might be cheating.