A funny sort of day

"Something magical happened this morning," I told The Man tonight after he came home.

"What?" he asked.

"Well, I left the house at 6.18 am, but I got to the station at 6.10 am. I looked at the clock before I left."

"I don't think you left at 6.18," he said. "It was earlier than that. You left really suddenly."

"But I checked the clock!" I said. "I'm sure I did."

"You were a bit strange this morning, actually," said The Man. "You just disappeared. One minute you were there and the next you were gone."

"What do you mean, 'disappeared'?" I said. "I said goodbye!"

"Yes, you did," he said. "But then you went quiet. You left the room, but I didn't hear you in the genkan, and didn't hear you unlock or lock the front door, and didn't hear the gate. So I went down to see what had happened to you, and you had disappeared! So had your bicycle. I went out to check. But you made no sound at all after you left the room."

"I was just being considerate," I said defensively, and the little hairs stood up on the back of my neck. "I was quiet so I wouldn't disturb anybody."

I didn't want to worry him, but actually I have no memory of leaving the house. I don't remember going out the door, or locking it, or getting on my bicycle, although I do remember climbing the steps to the station. And my bicycle was parked in its usual place when I got back to the station tonight.

Something funny is going on. I think maybe I tripped over a tear in the space-time fabric on my way down the stairs, and got to the station before I left the house. I don't think I even used the door, or the bicycle. When the tear was repaired the bicycle had to be moved so nobody would know. It wouldn't do for people to know that weird stuff like this happens. It would be too upsetting. People like to think time is stable and consistent. It isn't. We just imagine it is.

But I hope it doesn't happen too often. I had to hang around for fifteen minutes on the station platform this morning, waiting for my train to arrive, and it wasn't very interesting.

What was interesting, however, was something that happened when I was coming home. I was at another station, walking along the platform to change trains, and a couple of people were walking in front of me. Suddenly one of them screamed and jumped sideways, collapsing on the platform. The reason she screamed was that a pigeon had fallen out of the rafters of the platform roof and landed on her head.

This was a very surprising thing to happen, for the woman and for the pigeon. It fluttered away and stood for a moment at the edge of the platform, looking dazed. Bird 'flu! I thought, but then it shook itself and flew back up into the rafters, apparently perfectly healthy. The woman and her friend started laughing, but I thought it was an odd sort of thing to happen. That was not normal pigeon behaviour. They're supposed to crap on your head, not land on it.

What with time going backwards and birds falling out of the rafters it was a funny sort of day altogether.