No news

Today in New Zealand, nothing happened.


"I feel so much more cheerful," said a local resident. "When I picked up my newspaper today there was nothing in it except a few cartoons. I didn't even have to wash my hands afterwards."

Another resident agreed.

"All those white pages in my newspaper were wonderfully refreshing," she said. "Also, when I went out to get it this morning and greeted my neighbour, I said, 'What's going on?' and he said, 'Nothing,' which was really unusual. He usually has something to complain about. It was lovely."

Even the largest city's most pissed off driver had nothing to say.

"Nothing happened, even on the roads." she said.

We asked her what she'd been doing today, and she told us she'd concentrated on breathing.

"It was very peaceful," she said.

Things will start happening again tomorrow, but for today, in this green little country things were quiet. A contented nothingness covered the land, and there was nothing to report.