Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Middle-age spread

Yesterday morning I made the mistake of expressing my horror to The Man about the spare tyre I am developing around my middle.

"I've never had this before," I said, grabbing a handful to show him.

He stared, aghast. Then he kindly pointed out that it is the beginning of semester, and I always lose weight as semester goes on. This is true, but still, I don't like it much. Is this middle-age spread?

Last night, after I came home, he teased me about it, patting my tummy.

"You've been eating too many hy- hybo- hybocar- ..."

"HYBOCARDRATES!" I shouted gleefully, and had to duck.

Then he looked horrified as it dawned on him that he had just said something bloggable and the whole world would get to hear it and laugh. (Well, at least the fraction of the whole world that reads this.) Also, he will never be able to tease me about my tummy again, because whenever he does I will promise solemnly not to eat so many hybocardrates.

We're even.


Wiccachicky said...

:) That's cute.

Writer Mom said...

I think he's right. I'm gonna cut down on my hybocardrates, as well.
There aren't any of those in coffee are there?

You say tyre, I say tire. Your spelling makes me think of English literature. Mine makes me think of the eye sores floating down polluted rivers. Just had to share that.

Radioactive Jam said...

There are tears forming in my eyes. I must go now; time to shop for a hybocardrate based midday meal.

Meegan said...

he he :)
Thanks for the laugh at the end of a tiring day!

Potentilla said...

Now I can't work out how to say it properly.

I used to know a small boy who called the things over your eyes "owbreyes".

Kevin B. said...

Muahahaha... Serves him right. :)

Ms Mac said...

It took me at least 15 minutes to work out what was wrong!

Badaunt said...

Wikkachicky: If I call him 'cute', he hits me. Good thing you're on the other side of the world.

WriterMom: I have been here so long teaching from American textbooks that half the time I don't know which spelling convention I'm using. It's good to know I got one right!

RaJ: I knew you would appreciate this one.Harbocydrates just seemed RIGHT for you, I felt.

Meegan: My Man is astounding. He makes funny jokes in ANY language, even when he doesn't mean to!

Potentilla & Ms Mac: I told a couple of colleagues about this, and when I finished my story my punchline left them cold. They just stared at me. They didn't even notice.

I think that's why it was such a good one.

(Netscape Nagivator was easier to spot, but harder to stop yourself from using, I discovered.)

And I LOVE owbreyes.I don't think I've ever heard of a Spoonerism that uses vowels before. Lovely!

Kevin: It DOES.