Chocolate

I can eat chocolate again!

I had a craving for chocolate, had some handy - and ate it!

I realize you don't understand why this is making me so excited, but I haven't been able to eat chocolate for a while. In February this year I got a stomach virus. The timing was awful. I had eaten pizza that evening, and then four small squares of chocolate. I went home and later in the evening felt a little sick, so went to bed early thinking it was probably the pizza and I'd feel all right in the morning. Around 2am I woke up feeling sicker, and after lying there for a while wondering if I could get to sleep again decided that if I threw up I'd probably feel better. So I got out of bed.

The Man was still at work in the next room, sitting at his computer. It was cold, so I pulled on a sweatshirt. I also grabbed my sweatpants, and was bending down to put them on when my stomach heaved dangerously. I flung the doors open between the rooms and made a run for it.

The Man's face as he spun around to see what the sudden commotion was about was priceless. What he saw first was my sweatpants flying into the room (I don't know why I threw them like that), followed by me, bent over with my hands cupped to my face and something nasty trickling through my fingers as I ran at full speed through the room. The shock and horror on his face would have made me laugh if I'd been capable of it.

"Glub blub," I said as I flew past.

All night I threw up chocolate. I could not believe how much chocolate I threw up, or how utterly appalling it could taste. I had only eaten four small squares but it tainted everything. I threw up four kilos of the bloody stuff. That's how much weight I lost in the horrible twenty four hours the virus lasted, and it all tasted strongly of chocolate. I threw up chocolate violently and painfully every two hours, on the dot.

The two hour thing made it possible for me to cycle down to see the doctor. At 10 a.m. I threw up, then went to see him knowing I had a couple of hours before the next bout. I had to work that afternoon. Normally I would have cancelled classes, but I couldn't. It was the second-to-last class of semester, I was giving a test, and I knew some students couldn't make it to the last class. I couldn't grade them without the test, and there was nobody else to do it.

So I went to see him hoping he could give me something to stop the throwing up.

When the doctor heard my symptoms he was thrilled with me. Usually I go to him with problems that don't fit the season. ("NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE A SORE THROAT! THIS IS THE DIARRHEA SEASON! HOW ARE YOUR BOWELS?") This time I'd managed to get something that he'd already seen more than a hundred times that month. He showed me his official infectious diseases report.

"See?" he said, gleefully. "You have the stomach virus that's going around. Everybody is getting it. It will be gone in 24 hours, I guarantee."

He gave me some medicine to stop the nausea, and some more for diarrhea (which hadn't actually been much of a problem yet, although I could tell it was coming), and told me to go to bed. I thanked him for his good advice, took the medicine right there, and cycled to work. I had a hideous afternoon, but at least I only threw up between classes. (My bowels, on the other hand, stopped working for a week. I knew I shouldn't have taken that pill.)

Since that episode I have not been able to eat chocolate. The smell alone has been enough to make my stomach turn over. I tried a few times, then gave up. I hadn't even thought about it for at least two months.

Today I suddenly got the urge to eat chocolate, and a friend had given me some a few months back which I'd put away in my desk drawer, hoping that I'd be able to eat it again soon. (I still liked the idea of chocolate, even if I couldn't abide the smell.) Today I took it out. It had gone a bit shapeless in the heat - yes I know, it should have been in the fridge, but I'd forgotten it was there - but it still looked all right. I smelt it. My stomach didn't seem to mind.

I ate some.

Aaaahhhhhh...



I have now eaten two small squares of chocolate. It was wonderful. I hope this is not the throwing up season.