Fashion victim

Recently, in a coffee shop, I saw a young guy who had multiple piercings. This is not so common here, and obviously he was trying to be cool and different. He was with a couple of friends who were also dressed 'cool' but without so many piercings, except in their ears. Dressing 'cool' recently, for guys, means wearing pants so low the wearer looks like they've been cut off at the knees. (Fashions are interesting these days. It used to be only women who were hobbled, by their high heels. Now the guys are, too, by their trousers. Does this herald the arrival of sexual equality?)

Normally I would not have found the pierced guy worthy of remark, but he had one particular piercing on his bottom lip that was obviously causing him pain, and I had to make an effort not to stare. There was a ring through his lip, and attached to that was a chain which linked at the other end to one of the rings in his ear. The chain was too heavy, though, and was dragging his lower lip down on one side, so that he looked like a stroke victim. Also, the hole in his lip was infected and weeping, and he kept dabbing at it with a tissue. The entire effect, combined with his trouser-hobbles, made me want to pat him on the head and shuffle him off to hospital to get his infection treated.

But he saved the best bit for last. As he got up to leave he turned around. On the back of his sweatshirt was a single word, written very large.

It said: BIRDBRAIN