A long and lonely life

The Polymeal diet will make you live longer, according to Dutch scientists. It includes red wine, fish, dark chocolate, fruit, vegetables, almonds, and garlic.

Sounds like an attractive sort of diet, but the garlic does it for me. I'll just have to live shorter. However, I'm not sure that I'd want to use this diet to live longer anyway, after reading that researchers found the diet did have one unfortunate side effect -- bad breath and nasty body odor.

Actually, I find this kind of story a bit annoying. There is no real information there. How long do you need to be on the diet before the effects kick in? A month? A year? Ten years? Twenty? How do they know? Is it effective for everybody? In what proportions are the foods eaten? What if I've been on the diet for twenty years and get run over by a bus and killed. Can I sue?